


+.I can't be fixed.+

by oxXPinkLacesXxo



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Character Death, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Other, References to Depression, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-26
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-12-18 04:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18242168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oxXPinkLacesXxo/pseuds/oxXPinkLacesXxo
Summary: I made this a 2:00 A.M. so I have no clue whats goung on.





	+.I can't be fixed.+

**Author's Note:**

> This is really short.

Why? Why does it have to be me? I feel like I’m draining away. Everything I knew before is gone, down the drain.  _Drip. Drip. Gone._ If I knew better I would just end it all now. What would they care? Would they even notice?

I can just imagine the array of different faces David could portray knowing I’m out of his hair.  _Joy? Anger?_ ~~~~ ~~ _sadness._~~ Him pushing back his flaming locks, rubbing tears from his eyes. I finally made him break. Then Gwen? Fighting past the crowd of my once fellow peers whispering soft words of comfort to the man. Don’t cry. Don’t cry. DON’T CRY

Somewhere inside me I long for this... I truly want this no matter what that stupid ass counclor says. 

But then... a distant memory rings a distant gong inside my head. “ _You know,”_ the man spoke, “ _You may not believe me, but I went through it once.”_ I looked away from the man. I remember the uncomfortable itches of newly wrapped bandages. “ _I’ve already lost someone close to me. I’m not letting you leave too.”_

_I’m trying, I really am. I swear._ I understand what I need to do, but how can I stop? It’s so satisfying... how the blood trickles down your arm when you release it from it’s cave. You know, they say blood is blue before it hits oxygen. I always thought of it as a metaphor. We all start out fine and dandy, until we get into the hell that is life. Then we die. Whats the point of waiting? Just get it over with. Nikki doesn't seem to mind them, the deep gashes that somehow appear every new day on my arm. She must think I wrestled a bear. Too bad I lost that fight. 

Neil's a different story. He always asks about me going out at night, my sweatshirt, my homelife... It's annoying as hell, can he cut it out?! Please. I remember the first time I showed him my arms, not on purpous of course. The bastard and I were fighting about my hoodie, him talking about science shit. Then from out of no where, he saw them. I don't care if he saw em'; Not at all. But when someone tells that stupid happy pathetic waste of space that is the councler, well...

I'm sorry I couldn't be fixed David.

 


End file.
